self....

"i have to live with myself and so i want to be fit for myself to know, i want to be able as days go by, to look at myself straight in the eye. i don’t want to stand with the setting sun and hate myself for the things i’ve done. i don’t want to hide on a closet shelf a lot of secrets about myself, and fool myself as i come and go into thinking that nobody else will know what kind of man i really am; i don’t want to dress myself in sham. i want to go with my head erect, i want to deserve all men’s respect and in this struggle for fame and pelf i want to be able to like myself. i don’t want to look at myself and know that i am a bluster and empty show. i cannot hide myself from me; i can see what others can never see; i know what others can never know, i cannot fool myself, and so whatever happens, i want to be self-respecting and conscience free."